Cousins
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: His road trip turned out to be a lot shorter than he expected as Xander Harris finds himself asked to take on a whole new adventure, raising a young wizard with a prophecy pointed at his head. But than, in Sunnydale what else is family for?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or Harry Potter nor their associated properties and spin offs.**

"What?" Xander asked, not sure if he'd heard her correctly.

"I said, I'm Sandra Tarnhelm from the American Ministry of Magic, Mr. Harris. I'm here regarding a custody hearing for your 13 year old cousin," the young woman in the black dress repeated.

"There are several things wrong with that statement," Xander replied. "Want to guess what they are?"

The woman groaned. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"Not a one," Xander said, waving for her to enter his motel room.

"You don't know anything about magic?" Sandra asked.

"Magic is about the only thing you've mentioned that I do have knowledge of," he admitted.

"You know of magic but not the Wizarding World?" she asked, confused.

"Exactly," he replied. "Most of my experience comes from stopping rogue magic users, like Mayor Wilkins who tried to ascend into a pure blood demon just last week."

"What?!" she exclaimed in horror.

"Not important," Xander said waving it off. "He's dead"

"Could you provide evidence of that?" Sandra asked hopefully.

"What kind of evidence?" Xander asked.

"A copy of your memories would be best, but a sworn oath would be acceptable," Sandra offered.

"How do you copy memories?" Xander asked curiously.

"I place my wand at your temple, you visualize the memory you wish for me to extract, and I simply pull wand away with a copy of your memory strand attached," she explained. "A magical item called a pensieve is used to view the memory at a later date."

"You just want the final battle where he turned into a snake demon, right?" Xander asked.

"And his death," she agreed.

Xander closed his eyes as she placed the wand against his temple and after giving him a couple of seconds to focus, pulled the wand away with what looked to be a strand of quicksilver attached that she quickly deposited into a crystal vial.

"That felt a little freaky," Xander said shaking his head.

"Yes, it does," she agreed. "But back to my original purpose. I am here because your 13 year old cousin is the subject of a custody hearing and the American Ministry of Magic would really prefer if you won."

"I'm hardly the best person to raise a 13 year old boy," Xander said, "I'm barely an adult myself."

"The other party involved does not have your cousin's best interests at heart," Sandra told him, "they aim to see him dead for their own purposes."

"Tell me more," Xander ordered.

"Well it all started a little over a decade ago..."

 **Several hours later**

"That is majorly fucked up," Xander said, once she'd finished briefing him, "but I lack the home, hearth, and cash to raise a teen."

"The Ministry is willing to provide funds and pull strings to insure that that is taken care of well in advance, Mr. Harris."

"Call me Xander," he told her. "Now you've told me a lot, but not what the American Ministry's interest in all of this is."

"That's easy enough to answer," she replied. "We have several prophecies that place your cousin against one of the many Dark Lords England produces, and we'd like him to win. While we don't have the same separation of magical from non-magical people that they do, we would like to avoid the witch hunts that a war between the two would spark."

"Enlightened self-interest," Xander said with a nod. "That I can work with."

"So, you'll do it Mr.- I mean Xander?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure," he agreed. "I'll need a house in Sunnydale and some additional resources, but I'm more than willing to take in my cousin."

"That is such a relief!" she enthused. "The hearing is in three days and you have a lot to learn to be ready in time," she explained.

 **American Ministry of Magic**

"There was something that you wanted brought to our attention?" Hancock, the head of the foreign affairs department, asked as he entered her office.

Sandra nodded. "The memory strand I received from Xan- Mr. Harris, contains some things I think you should see, as well as a couple of anomalies," she reported.

"You don't say," the gray haired man, who looked to be in excellent condition despite his age, said with some interest.

"Yes, sir," she replied promptly.

"I believe you're working on the Potter case with Johnson?"

"Yes, sir," she agreed.

"Very well, let's see it," he said.

She gestured to the pensieve on her desk. "Already set up, sir."

The two leaned over the bowl and the world around them vanished in a swirl of silver, leaving the pair standing at Sunnydale High's Graduation Ceremony.

They watched events unfold as the Mayor transformed, the vampires attacked, and the students defended themselves. All entrancing sights on their own, but they were drawn to where Xander stood shouting out orders during the battle... and the numerous misty shadows that surrounded him. Sometimes a figure would come into focus for a moment as Xander did something, only to fade away a second later.

The memory ended and the two sat quietly in her office, digesting what they'd just watched.

"Contact the Amerind Council," Hancock ordered. "He looks like a natural Shaman."

"Did you see the shades of the dead, sir?" she asked quietly.

"There is no such thing as a natural necromancer and he's clearly untutored," Hancock said finally, after a few minutes of silence.

"Officially?" she asked cautiously.

"That's the _official_ word," he stressed.

"And the Potter case, sir?" Sandra asked.

"He's still a damn sight better than any other option available," Hancock answered her "If anything, Harris practicing Amerind style magic would just improve matters, and it looks like he'll have to; talent like that demands to be used."

"Yes, sir. I'll continue with the adoption paperwork," she said, relieved.

 **Typing by: Shirinoki**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello, I'm Sandra Tarnhelm," she introduced herself to the old Amerind wizard who was working on a motorcycle and smoking a cigarette, his old fashioned buckskin breeches stained black with oil and dirt.

"And?" he asked, not looking up from his work, the setting sun reflecting off the burnished metal and chrome.

"And I need to talk to you about training a natural necromancer," she explained.

The old man looked up, his kind brown eyes seeming at odds with both his weather tanned skin and the uninterested expression on his face, they looked like they belonged on a much younger man, possibly a schoolchild. Brushing an errant strand of iron grey hair out of his eyes he replied, "I'm listening."

"I'm from the American Ministry of Magic," she said. "We've run across a young man who has no training, but has a very strong gift."

"Most of the kids today are worthless pussies who couldn't handle training with me," the old man said, "self entitled little pricks who faint at the sight of blood and don't have enough willpower to keep breathing when the veil is disturbed." Hopping on the Harley he'd been working on, he kicked it into life and revved the engine. The sound was almost a physical force as it roared around the garage like a herd of horses thundering past before he shut it down.

"Please, Mr. Rides-an-iron-horse, it's important," she begged.

He raised an eyebrow. "Haven't used that name in decades, call me Horse. I suppose I can take a look at him."

"You're not going to ask why it's important?" she asked.

"Nah, you got nice tits," he replied casually. "That's worth at least a glance at the kid."

"Erm, thanks?" Sandra offered lamely.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Xander took a bite out of his giant cookie, it was fresh from the oven and nice and hot, just the way he liked it. Hearing a muffled cry from a nearby alley he immediately ran towards it. Naturally it turned out to be a vampire attacking an attractive young woman.

Seeing the vampire bent over her and distracted, he staked it before it even knew he was there. As the vamp dusted, he saw the frightened young woman was bleeding and absently handed her his cookie to hold, while blessing Giles for his training, as he pulled out a handkerchief and applied pressure to her wound. "You'll be OK," he promised. "Looks like he was planning on making you a minion, so he was careful not to do too much damage, you're just a little low on blood."

A screech of feminine rage came from the other end of the alley. "You killed Frankie!" the vampiress growled, ripping a pipe off the wall and running at them.

The blonde girl's eyes widened and she shouted, "Flamare!" sending a bolt of fire out of the cookie to fry the demon who turned into a cloud of ash, the pipe falling to clatter to the ground at their feet.

For a moment the only sound in the alley was water pouring out of the broken pipe on the wall.

"Let's get out of here before they make us pay for it," Xander suggested, relieved things had gone so well, as he hadn't been prepared for any real battle at the moment, just having the one stake on him out of habit.

She looked at him nervously. "You aren't..." she trailed off for a moment. "I'm..." She fell silent.

"Mad about the cookie?" Xander guessed confused. "It looks fine," he offered and broke off a piece and ate it. "It's still good. Let's get you back to my room where we can bandage your wound and make sure you don't have a concussion."

"O-OK," she said quietly, allowing him to lead her off.

Horse spoke a word and dismissed the magic that had cloaked their presence, laying a hand on Sandra's arm to keep her quiet until the pair had left. "Let them rut in peace, I'll bug them in the morning."

"Rut?" she asked, before blushing as she realized what he'd meant.

"They're young and just went through a life or death situation together," Horse explained, "sex is the normal response. I'll talk to the kid tomorrow about training. For now I'll let the two enjoy the Heroes' reward.

"Hero's reward?!" Sandra exclaimed angrily. "She's not some prize to be won!"

"I said Heroes, plural," Horse said, not in the least upset. "She cast a fire spell using a cookie, and dusted a vamp. If that doesn't earn her a solid dicking, I don't know what does."

Sandra nodded slowly, admitting Rides-an-Iron-Horse may have a foul mouth and be as blunt as a hammer, but at least he wasn't sexist. "So he's up to your standards?" she asked, just to be sure.

Horse nodded. "I'll give him a shot and see what he can learn. She'd probably do a lot better with a traditional teacher. I'll probably pass her on to someone else."

"That's fine," Sandra said, relieved everything seemed to have turned out well and was proceeding the way she'd hoped.

"Let's go get a beer and you can explain what all John is expecting by getting me involved," he said before taking a pack of cigarettes out of his black leather jacket and lighting one.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Aren't I supposed to be going to the Dursley's?" Harry asked as he was handed a portkey.

"Circumstances have changed," Dumbledore told him. "I'm afraid it's no longer safe for you there. I've arranged for you to stay elsewhere."

Harry perked up immediately, he was still recovering from the basilisk's bite, but he barely noticed now as the possibility of escaping the Dursley's put a spring in his step. "Let's go!"

Dumbledore activated the portkey with a frown. This was going to cause no end of trouble, he could tell.

 **Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	3. Chapter 3

The smell of coffee and tobacco smoke woke Xander and upon opening his eyes he saw an old Indian sitting at the desk and drinking a cup of coffee with a hand rolled cigarette in his other hand.

"Morning," the old man said.

"Morning," Xander replied calmly, the blonde on his shoulder slowly waking up.

"Um," she said nervously.

"Xander," the old man said with a nod. "I've been told I should train you and seeing the way you took out those blood suckers last night, I'm inclined to at least give you a shot."

"Train in what?" Xander asked.

"All the things a warrior should know," the old man replied. "Magic, Demon slaying, motor cycle repair."

"Not sure if I'll be any good at magic, but the other two sound useful," Xander replied.

"Demon slaying?" the blonde asked nervously.

"Only hostile ones," the old man replied. "Live and let live is a good policy to follow in most cases."

"Oh," she said, some of the tension going out of her.

"Can it wait until we get dressed?" Xander asked.

"Sure kid," the old man replied. He took a deep drag of his hand-rolled and blew it out, actually obscuring their view of him, and when the smoke dispersed he was gone.

"That was a very cool trick," Xander said.

"Yeah," she agreed." You aren't upset..."

"No," Xander Waved it off only to wince. "I mean yes, terribly, terribly disappointed, but I have a feeling I'm not your type and I'd rather have a friend then someone who awkwardly avoids me because we slept together."

She hugged him and the spirit of a nurse from the Korean War faded away, pleased to have helped.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Interfering old coot," a young Indonesian woman muttered, her blood red motorcycle gear clean and new, a marked difference from the old man and his Harley, drinking a cup of coffee.

"Always," he agreed. "Any idea on what you're going to teach her?"

"She's an Earth witch," the woman replied. "I'll teach her how to dance, maybe some singing, if she has the voice for it."

He nodded, not seeing the need to say anything more.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"So, an American cousin," Ron said as he spun around and launched a dizzy garden gnome over the fence to sail off cursing into the morning light.

"Apparently," Harry agreed pouring a thimble full of fire whiskey for a gnome and pointing him towards the open gate after he'd guzzled it down.

"Think he's better than the Dursleys?" Ron asked.

"The local prison is better than the Dursleys," Harry assured him, serving another tiny drink to a gnome who left with a spring in his step and a wobble in his gait.

Ron nodded and grabbed another gnome, spinning it around like a top half a dozen times before launching it over the fence. "Any idea as to what he's like?"

"As long as he's not a mass murderer I'm happy," Harry said pouring out another drink.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"He's a mass murderer!" Molly exclaimed wide eyed as they watched the memory in the pensive.

"Look again," Dumbledore ordered as he showed the elder Weasleys the copy of the pensive memory he'd received from the American counsel.

"What...?" Molly's voice trailed off as she watched the vampires more closely. "Demons!" she hissed.

"I know they talk about how dangerous American muggle schools are, but demons?" Arthur asked in shock.

"Yes," Dumbledore agreed absently as he examined the multitude of half seen spirits floating around Xander, casting several spells to make them more visible.

"He's a necromancer?" Molly asked, wondering how many more shocks she could take.

"He's not calling them or commanding them," Arthur noted curiously.

"He's not compelling the dead at all," Dumbledore agreed. "He's simply taking their advice and from their wounds, I'm guessing, they were killed by vampires."

"And he wants to raise our Harry?" Molly asked, not sure how to feel.

"It's definitely a political move by the American council. As for this young man's motives," Dumbledore took a breath before continuing, "I'll know more once I've met him"

"Can we meet him?" Arthur asked.

"If you don't mind, I was planning on asking if I could bring him here so they could meet somewhere Harry felt safe at."

"We'd be honored," Molly said quickly.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore said as the school exploded behind them. He'd been hoping the Weasleys would volunteer because he didn't want Alexander anywhere near the Dursleys.

 **Typing done by Falkun**


	4. Chapter 4

"I've gone by many names over the years," the old man told him. "Rides-an-iron-horse is the one I'm using for the moment. So, call me Horse."

"Nice to meet you, sir," Xander said as politely as possible.

"I said call me Horse, not sir," he corrected. "I can see you're partially attuned to our furry brethren. So, I'll start your training off simple. We're going to go to the Sunnydale Zoo and introduce you to all the animals."

"Couldn't we start off small, like with a petting zoo?" Xander asked hopefully.

"All zoos are petting zoos, unless you're a pussy," Horse replied, starting up his bike. "Meet you there."

Xander watched the old man ride off and shook his head. Turning to the blonde girl he gave her a quick hug. "It was nice meeting you, Tara. Hopefully if I survive we'll meet again."

The dark skinned woman chuckled as Xander left. "Well, let's take a look at you. Long, smooth limbs, good hips, decent breasts, and a very nice back end," she said while circling the young witch like a shark.

"Pardon?" Tara asked blushing heavily.

"Just seeing what I have to work with," she replied. "You have potential. I'll be working you hard the next few months, be prepared to give it your all."

"Training me?" Tara asked confused.

"Yes, the old man called in a favor I owed him, to have me train you," she explained.

"I didn't volunteer for any training," Tara said.

"No, you didn't," the woman agreed. "However, I'm paying off a favor and that requires me to train you, so train you I shall."

Tara's demeanor changed in an instant. She'd left her family and traveled halfway across the country to live the life she chose. You didn't do either of those things, much less both, without some iron in your veins, and she was showing that iron now. "I'm not going to be forced to do anything by anyone," she said resolutely, her magic bubbling to the surface in response to her will, forming a bright aura around her.

The woman laughed with a voice that made one think of tinkling bells and babbling brooks. "You act as if you had a choice."

The two vanished in a flash of light, leaving a twenty foot circle of asphalt and concrete steaming and bubbling in the cold morning air.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"I don't have the best memories of this place," Xander admitted as they sat in the parking lot so Horse could have a smoke before they went in.

"Well we can't go to the San Francisco Zoo and the San Diego Zoo would take too long to reach," he replied. "So try and man up a bit."

"I'm very manly," Xander protested, "I have the heart of a lion." Xander puffed out his chest for a second before looking at the zoo and shuddering. "Why can't we go to the San Francisco Zoo?"

"Because I have the heart of a grizzly, also its liver," Horse said casually. "So I'm persona non grata with the zoo at the moment. By the way, lunch is on me today."

Xander closed his eyes and nodded to himself, this was all Giles' fault; one of his wishes that Xander knew what he put up with had obviously come true.

"We'll be visiting most of the exhibits and I'll let you choose the order," Horse said, dropping the smoking nub of his cigarette and crushing it beneath a booted heel.

"Let's start with the butterfly house," Xander said, figuring on something easy to start with.

"Really? Well, you're the boss. I would've gone with something easier like the lions, but you will learn more this way," Horse said cheerfully.

Xander nodded, wondering why he suddenly felt nervous.

"You'll have to feed them, and get them to come to you, but I've got a knife with me, so no worries on that account," Horse assured him, slapping him on the back and heading for the entrance.

"Damn you, Giles," Xander cursed before following the old man.

 **0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"I wonder what he's like," Harry said.

"What who's like?" Ron asked.

"Alex, my American cousin," Harry replied.

"Well he's from the colonies so probably a bit like Hagrid," Ron guessed.

"What?" Harry asked wondering where Ron had gotten an idea like that from.

"Well, stands to reason, doesn't it? The colonies aren't all that old and I heard they've got huge sections of it that still aren't tamed. Malfoy was bragging about how his father and his friends went on a big game hunt there bagging a Sasquatch and two jacko-somethings. He said they found Chupacabra tracks near their camp and were forced to pack it in a bit early," Ron explained. "A place that dangerous is bound to take men like Hagrid to survive."

"Oh," Harry said, his image of Alex as a California lifeguard, from catching glimpses of Baywatch while Dudley was watching it, fading away to be replaced by a Hagrid like man.

"Dumbledore left his pensieve here," one of the twins said, looking up from the parchment the pair were working on.

"And?" Ron asked, hoping this wasn't another one of their pranks, which he always seemed to end up the butt of.

"And they were watching a memory of your cousin," the other twin replied.

"What's a pensieve and how do you watch memories?" Harry asked curiously.

"Pensieve's a bowl with a bunch of runes cut in it," Ron said. "You get sucked into it when you lean over it and then pop out a few seconds later, having seen whatever memory was in it."

"I can't think of a simpler explanation than that," one of the twins admitted to the other.

"That's it in a nutshell," the other agreed. "So, want to see what your cousin is like?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed eagerly hoping his cousin was indeed more like Hagrid than Dudley, because he'd love to have family that was... family.

"I'll get it," one twin said.

"I'll distract mom," the other agreed.

"Excuse in advance?" they chorused.

"Found it and were curious?" Ron suggested.

"How about the truth?" Harry asked. "I was curious and asked you to get it for me."

"Now that's sneaky," Ron said in awe, while the twins looked surprised.

"No one's said we can't look at it, and it's not locked up or anything, right?" Harry asked.

"Confuse them with the truth," one twin said.

"I like it," the other twin said. "Back in a minute."

The twins departed and returned not two minutes later carrying a large stone bowl that they set on the living room table.

"She said yes, and even showed us how to use it," the first twin said.

"We are definitely going to involve you in planning pranks from now on," the second twin added.

"Thanks," Harry said confused.

"OK, everyone lean over," one twin said, leaning over the bowl.

The four leaned over the bowl and were sucked into the memory of a large group of students listening to a speech by an older gentleman on a podium.

"He's somewhere in the crowd," one twin said.

"Mum said he'll be directing the students," the other replied.

"Directing them to do what?" Ron asked.

"She didn't say, just that it'd be obvious who he was if we watched," a twin replied.

"Damn, there's a lot of good looking birds," the other said looking around.

"Why are they all wearing robes and those strange caps?" Harry asked, distracting one of the twins from trying to unsuccessfully feel up a blonde.

"No idea," the twins chorused.

"This guy looks sick," Ron said as the Mayor shuddered and began to transform. "Merlin's balls!"

"That's him," Harry said suddenly as battle broke out and they watched the life and death struggle of the Sunnydale High Graduating class.

"What's the grey stuff around him?" Ron asked.

"The dead," Harry said, wondering how he knew it. "They're telling him what to do."

"Why are the vampires attacking?" Ron asked.

"Those aren't vampires, they're demons," one of the twins said.

"How can you tell?" the other twin asked, surprised his brother knew something he didn't.

"Look at the faces," he pointed out. "Real vampires don't go all bumpy like that."

The four watched the battle, shocked at the amount of bloodshed and death on both sides, when the order was given and the school exploded.

The four were suddenly sitting around the bowl again in the Weasley's living room.

"He's definitely your cousin," Ron said.

"Huh?" Harry asked, still trying to deal with what he'd just seen.

"Yeah, the way he threw himself into battle with just a sword is all you mate," one twin agreed.

"Hey, can we see you fight the basilisk?" the other asked.

"We can share other memories?" Harry asked surprised.

"Yeah," one twin said, using his wand to remove the memory in the pensieve and place it in a crystal vial, "It's how we got the pensieve, we said we wanted to share some memories of classes you've missed."

"After removing the memory that was in the pensieve already," the other added.

"I thought you told mom the truth?" Ron asked.

"We did," the twins chimed.

"We said we wanted to show him some memories of classes he missed and some family activities he'd never experienced," one twin began.

"And we promised to remove the memory that was in the pensieve first," the other finished holding up the vial with a grin. "Not that, that fooled her of course."

"But you don't have the same classes as us," Harry pointed out.

"That just means you missed them all then," one twin said.

"Including some very memorable ones," the other twin finished.

"Wanna see a class where one of the Slytherins screws up his potion and dissolves the tops of all the fifth years in class?" the twins asked in stereo.

"Yes, yes I would," Harry and Ron both chorused back, as if they'd been practicing, causing the twins to burst out in laughter.

 **Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	5. Chapter 5

"And that's why you never use bat's wings in any potion that requires a drop of troll's blood," one of the twins said, while a red faced Harry and Ron sat there smiling, having greatly increased the number of bare breasts they'd seen in their lives.

"You guys are only fourth years, how'd you see a potions accident in a class a year ahead of you?" Harry asked.

"Most potions accidents aren't," one twin began.

"It actually takes quite a lot of skill to cause an accident without Snape managing to stop you," the other continued.

"We know how to brew polyjuice and are paid quite well to take other students places and cause said accidents," the first twin started.

"Which of course, we'd do for free," the second twin continued. "But Charlie is right, there is nothing better than to be paid to do what you love, and we love annoying Snape."

"I don't know about that," Ron said, "Neville manages it nearly every class."

"Or is that you two too?" Harry asked curiously.

"That's all him," one twin said.

"He does it on purpose, because he hates and fears Snape," the other explained.

"Potions genius, that one," they chorused honestly impressed.

"He's forcing himself to overcome his fears by provoking Snape," Harry's eyes widened as he announced his realization.

"Might we see the troll incident?" one twin asked.

"Sure," Harry replied removing the memory and dropping it in the pensieve.

It was a short memory only about seven minutes long, so the four only took seconds to view.

The twins stared at the two younger boys in shock.

"Man we were small back then," Harry said with a chuckle, even though it had only been a couple of years ago.

"Trolls a lot smaller than I remember it being as well," Ron agreed cheerfully.

"Wanna see the detention McGonagall gave me in the forbidden forest?" Harry asked, wanting to see if viewing it would also make it seem less dangerous and help lay it to rest.

"The one with Voldemort and the unicorn?" Ron asked curiously.

"That's the one," Harry agreed.

"Sure," Ron said before turning to the twins and noticing their condition. "What's wrong with you guys?"

 ***0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0***

Xander held out his cupped hands, making sure he didn't spill blood on the ground and watched as various butterflies landed on his hand and sipped his blood. "I never pictured butterflies as blood drinkers," Xander admitted.

"That's because, like most people, you picture nature and think it's all peaceful and harmonious," Horse said and shook his head. "I blame Disney and hippies for that view."

"It isn't?" Xander asked a small cloud of butterflies swarming him.

"Nature is never peaceful, it's a continual fight for survival, from the carnivores eating the herbivores, who eat the plants, who absorb the detritus of their feast, to the insects who feed on the victors and the fallen alike. Even further down we have billions of bacteria, but you get what I mean, life eats life. Nature is called a mother for a reason and it's not because she's nurturing and kind," Horse explained with a chuckle.

"And what am I to learn from this?" Xander asked as he watched a bright yellow butterfly drink his blood and then flutter off, feeling equal parts amazed and repulsed.

"It's the cycle of life, and watching a Disney movie just doesn't have the same impact as showing it to you first hand and introducing you to exactly what life truly is," Horse told him.

"And what is life?" Xander asked.

"Think on it," Horse told him. "Now where should we go next?"

"Reptile house," Xander offered, shaking his hand to dislodge a number of butterflies.

"Our cold blooded brethren are quite different from us, for all we share the same earth we are worlds apart," the old man said. "We'll go over there as soon as you get rid of the butterflies covering you," he said cheerfully, lighting up a cigarette, paying no mind to the no smoking signs.

"And how do I do that?" Xander asked, absolutely cloaked in butterflies.

"Now that is a good question," the old man agreed with a grin.

Xander cursed Giles under his breath and looked around for some clue on how to de-infest himself.

 ***0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0***

Tara rolled to the side, a fireball barely missing her as it slammed into the dirt where she'd just been.

The woman in the red leather laughed and called another fireball to her hand. "You're an earth witch, but I don't see you calling on the earth."

Tara had lost her purse and had to rip off half her dress, when a near miss had set it alight and she had been dodging attacks for nearly half an hour, often by the skin of her teeth, gaining blisters from where she hadn't dodged fast enough, so she was hurt, tired, and scared, not knowing what this lunatic wanted with her or why she'd kidnapped her.

"What's a matter little mouse, cat got your tongue?" she taunted flinging another ball of flame.

"I need calm to call on the earth, and I'm not calm!" Tara snapped out wondering why this crazy witch was doing this.

The woman laughed cruelly. "Tree hugging hippie crap! What use is magic that can only be called when you're calm and nothing is going on to inflame your passions?!"

Tara did a very credible tumbling roll to avoid a trio of fireballs and get some distance between them. Her eyes darted around, but there was no cover in sight just desert scrub-land.

"Maybe I should go visit the boy you were with," she said with a smirk. "I'm sure he'd be a lively sport before I played a little game of dodge with him." She drew on the earth blatantly, increasing the size of the fireball until it was nearly three feet across and threw it, melting a large patch of sand to glass and setting the nearby grass alight.

Tara glared at the woman. Xander had been nice to her, risking his life to save her and not asking for anything in return, even going so far as to comfort her later and hadn't even gotten mad that Tara wasn't comfortable doing certain things, even though she could feel he really wanted to do them with her. At the thought of this woman hurting him, her anger exploded into flame that she gathered in her hand, copying what she'd seen the witch do just a moment before.

"Just fucking try!" Tara snarled flinging a soccer ball sized fireball at the red clad witch while forming a second one in her other hand.

The dark skinned witch had spun to the side and taken a step to the right to avoid the attack with a smirk on her face. "You're learning," she said, calling more fire to her hand.

 **Typing by: Stephenopolos**


End file.
